It was the height of the Aids crisis and she was in the waiting room of an inner-city STI clinic, frequented by those most at risk of HIV: gay men, injecting drug users, sex workers. A positive result, back then, would have been a death sentence. In the clinic a friendly gay counsellor asked Megan to step into his room and asked her if everything was OK. No, she said. No, it absolutely was not. People gave her a cautious, wide berth. Her worried dad was on his way to pick up his distraught daughter, now lying in the gutter, covered in her own tears and vomit.
I’m gay, married, and not leaving my church | Joel Hollier
This week, a married woman flirting over Facebook and making lunch dates with men she meets at the gym: 45, married, Upper West Side. I want to have an affair. We have our kids, our home, our jobs … I would like to add a little danger to the mix. But … with who … is the question. I work in foreign relations. I tie my shirt up and hop on the treadmill.
No one can quite prepare you for the experience of dating within the queer community. As you spend time online and out in the real world, you learn how to sift through guys who end up meeting your specific requirements. Many gay men I know, including myself, have gotten their hearts broken at the hands of men married to women, with many swearing off this category altogether after having their hopes dashed over and over. I was rather bewildered when I found out, but also intrigued. This man has a wife, and together, they have a kid. Why dip your beak outside then? That is why men like me go for other men. But thanks to the wonders of Truecaller and Facebook, I could track him down and see his wife plastered in all the display pictures. You gotta wonder though: How does he plan to hold on to a full-grown woman who is fully married to him, while also hoping to have a full-blown boyfriend by the side? How does it make sense?
I met my wife at university, and we married when I was 27 and she was We had a vanilla sex life for the first 10 years, after which I decided we should stop. For 29 years we have had no sexual contact.