As a psychiatrist who specializes in working with teens, I hear "it" discussed often - quietly, tentatively at first, until the teen decides that I am "OK. Does this doctor really want to hear what I have to say about this or is she going to give me a lecture? Can I ask her my questions or will she think I'm stupid? I bet she never had this problem. In fact, I bet no one has every had this problem, but maybe I could tell her it was some other kid, not me.
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Wild Packs work with a whole host of different camps, but we often get questions from applicants about what life at a single sex camp is like, both for the staff and for the kids. Of course there are pros and cons for just about every type of camp, and naturally some applicants and campers will be better suited to a certain type of camp. I firmly believe in the power of camp, and for me part of that was watching campers and staff be empowered to take on the world in an environment that nourishes, celebrates achievements and allows some separation from the everyday societal pressures on females, both as children, teens and adults. It was empowering seeing staff female staff driving speedboats, teaching football, organising four day hikes.
For parents, sending a teen to summer camp must be a deal with the devil: You get a break from caring for your angsty kid, but in exchange, you live with the knowledge that little Madison might suck a dick this summer. Communal sleeping, shared showers, and minimal supervision — often at the hands of slightly older and even hornier youths — add up to a pressure cooker of hormones, humiliation, awkward fumbling, and memorable discoveries. Lauren was the alpha girl of my cabin. She was cool and tough and came from New York and had a Beastie Boys cassette. When she stole my pink training bra, I was kind of honored. If Lauren Petersen felt tickles on horses, then feeling tickles on horses was cool. Soon everyone was feeling tickles, or trying to feel them, or faking them.
Over the years, I have called it an "inappropriate relationship. I never called it sexual abuse, because it felt like an overly dramatic Oprah-ization of what happened. The word "abuse" seems to imply victimization and has always made me uncomfortable in this instance. Until now, I have been far too politicized to admit the chief reason I never called it sexual abuse in spite of the fact that it would be considered as much from both a criminal and a clinical perspective.